Confession Time June 18th Food and Exercise Journal

by Alison on June 18, 2010

Okay I admit this is pathetic and I acknowledge that and I see it but I still feel it.  Here we go, the more weight I lose the fatter I feel.  I know it makes no sense but I do.  When I was huge I was huge, now that I am overweight, not morbidly obese or obese, I notice how fat I am compared to people around me. WHY???? And seriously What the Duck???  Has anyone else felt this way?

So today I managed a 6 mile run, which is my longest run in a while.  My hips and knees were a bit sore but seem fine now.  It was partly sunny so it seemed EVERYONE was out on the trail, including 3 very rude women who were walking next to each other taking up the WHOLE path and really not moving out of anyone’s way  on my way toward them (they were coming the opposite direction) I had to step onto the side of the path to make room for them.  Did I mention they had at least half a person in room between them?  I encountered them near my turnaround point so as I ran behind them I saw them make a cyclist go off the path, really bitches? you own the path.  They turned around right about where I was trying to pass them and they gave me the dirtiest looks, seriously so rude and so self important, I hate people like that…  When I got home we had kodiak cakes with wheat germ, flax seeds and bananas for breakfast.  For lunch I went with yogurt, blueberry and granola again. For dinner we had the leftover Thai pork and peanut sauce with steamed spinach and brown rice.  Ben mixed his spinach in and said it was like our favourite thai dish of chicken and spinach with peanut sauce, I honestly hadn’t thought of that but it worked well 🙂  I love happy accidents in the kitchen.

June 18th

Ate 22 of 23 points. Earned 11 activity points.

  • Breakfast (8) –Kodiak cakes with syrup and butter
  • Lunch (5)– Greek Yogurt, granola and blueberries (less granola than yesterday)
  • Dinner (8)–Thai Pork with Peanut Sauce (6), Brown Rice (2), steamed spinach (0)
  • Snack (1) –chocolate pudding

Running Weekly totals used 15.5 of 35 weekly points, earned 46 activity points.

Weekly Mileage Count 15

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Jess June 20, 2010 at 12:32 PM

That feeling you’re experiencing? I have totally been there. And I need to tell you, from experience, that you need to fix it. I don’t know HOW, but you need to get away from that mentality. Because the last thing you want is to trade one disorder for another. Remember, it’s not about being THIN but being healthy and fit.

I used to feel the same way you did. I was at my smallest weight ever and I still felt like a hippo. I call it the “fat girl syndrome”. But now, I realize that my body is amazing. It’s run a half marathon. It can almost do ten full push-ups in a row. It’s working on a lot of things. And I’m making progress, each and every day.

Think of the things that you ARE doing. Focus on the good, the positivity, and be fueled by THAT energy 🙂
Jess´s last blog post ..Take Me Out to the Ball Game

Alison June 20, 2010 at 1:11 PM

Oh I know better than you can imagine I need to get away from it. Today looking in the mirror I realised that it was partly that the I actually have some loose skin that looks worse than the fat looked, how ironic is that, but that is fixable if I choose to in future. I plan to focus on what my body can do because honestly this time it was never about looks it was about health, which is why I think I am succeeding. It was more an ironic note than a path I plan to travel down. Thanks for the support Jess and don’t worry about me until I worry I’m fat when I’m not 😛 I am still borderline obese so feeling fat is okay and not distorted thinking 😛 Health is still my main motivation.

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